literature

Eldritch Girls Chapter 1

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After School Fight

The sun was setting on what looked like another peaceful day in Manjimup. Pretty soon everyone would be home in their warms beds, waiting for tomorrow to begin. The local high school was no different, all the students and faculty members had left several hours ago, leaving the school with nothing but silence. Or at least that was normally the case, but tonight something very different and far more dangerous was going on.

The sound of clashing steel and furious battle cries echoed throughout the school's halls, emanating from the gymnasium. Two people, one a male knight sporting a well polished suit of angelic white armor that covered him from head to toe, the other a teenage girl dressed in light red armor with a yellow dress underneath, were locked in fierce combat while a small child cheered on from atop the racks of chairs that lined the gym's walls. "Come on Liz!" the child yelled while watching the girl thrust her red spear, adorned with three purple jewels, forward, only for the knight to parry it with his silver buckler. "You cannot lose! I'm counting on you!"

"Cut me some slack Kip" Liz grumbled after being forced to leap back from the knight's sword swipe. After landing safely on her black boots that stretched up to her knees, Liz spun her spear around her body a few times before pointing the blade straight at the knight's chest. "I'm doing the best I can."

"You're performing better than what can be expected" a dark voice chuckled in Liz's mind as the purple jewel embedded in her forehead glowed brighter. "We only just fused and you're already a match for an elite warrior of the Divine."

"Praise from a space god?" Liz snickered. "I'm flattered."

The knight raised his shield before glancing over to Kip. After muttering something in a langauge clearly not human, the knight turned its gaze back to Liz. A second later, the knight rushed forward at a speed not possible for an ordinary man and swung his sword at Liz's head.

Liz was fortunately able to block the attack with her spear's handle. Acting quickly, Liz raised her leg and kicked the knight in the stomach as hard as she could. The knight was not expecting such a strong blow and was sent sliding back several yards.

"Wow..." Liz gasped, also surprised at her own strength as she watched the knight fall to one knee.

"I suppose that would impressive to the eyes of a human" the dark voice said. "Would I be correct to presume you approach of the... Improvements I made on your fragile mortal shell?"

Liz raised an eyebrow. "We'll be discussing that at great length very soon" she said with a concerned look on her face. "Count on it."

"Relax human" the dark voice snickered. "You'll be on your knees thanking me once you've learned how to harness the powers I've given you."

"The name is Liz" growled Liz before giving the jewel on her forehead a light thump. "Please use it or-"

Suddenly the knight once again charged forward, this time trying to slash his sword upward at Liz's torso. Despite the speed and ferocity of the attack, Liz's eyes were surprisingly able to follow it and she shifted slightly to the left, the blade slicing into the wooden wall behind her a second later. Hoping to take advantage of the opening, Liz swung her spear straight toward the knight's exposed back, not only scoring a direct hit, but also knocking him straight through the damaged wall and into the open grass field that surround the gymnasium.

"A good hit" said the dark voice. "You have a knack for combat."

"This isn't the first time I've been in a fight" Liz assured before stepping through the large hole in the wall. "Although to be fair, I've never fought an actual knight before." When she couldn't spot the knight in front of her, Liz took a moment to survey the surroundings.

"Above you!" the dark voice growled, causing Liz to look up just in time to see the knight drop from the rooftops, his blade pointed directly at Liz's head. Liz was quick to swing her weapon up to intercept the knight.

Due to Liz's superior attack range, the knight was forced to brace himself and block the attack with his buckler. After being knocked aside, the knight quickly regained his footing and assumed a defensive stance.

"Thanks for the warning" Liz grunted while tightening her grip on her spear. "Good to know you actually want me to win."

"Well we are one now" the dark voice reassured. "I'm not about to sit back and let our body be destroyed."

Liz narrowed her eyes. "Our body?" she questioned while keeping her gaze fixated on her opponent. "Excuse me but this is my body. You're just along for the ride until we deal with this guy."

The dark voice laughed, sending a shiver down Liz's spine. "You're fun" he said. "I'm so glad Kip gave me to a mortal with some backbone."

"That's something else I need to ask" Liz whispered. "How did a small child like Kip get her hands on you anyway?"

Suddenly the knight rushed forward, hoping to strike while his opponent seemed distracted. Once he was within range, the knight unleashed a flurry of sword thrusts, each one aimed at Liz's head. Fortunately, Liz was able to either evade, block or parry each attack while slowly stepping back.

"It's like I can see each attack in slow motion" Liz thought while tilting her head to avoid it being skewered.

"More like your eyes are simply telling you the swords path before it happens" the dark voice snickered. "Just like they'll show you when there's an opening to strike. You can thank me later."

A few attacks later, the knight let out a fierce roar before lunging forward. After, quickly ducking down to avoid the blade, Liz took one look at the knight's exposed breastplate and immediately she felt a strange sensation overcome her. It was like her eyes were screaming at her to attack and she quickly complied, thrusting her spear upward at the knight's torso.

Liz's spear pierced the armor and the knight quickly jumped back while clutching his stomach. When the knight removed his hand, Liz noticed a white mist seeping from the large crack in the armor. "Well that's odd" she thought.

"What's odd is you deliberately missing" the dark voice growled fiercely. "You could have ended him just then. Why would you pass on the perfect chance to deliver a killing blow?"

"Hey I don't do that" Liz growled back. "I agreed to defend a helpless child and save the world, not murder people."

"Surely you're not going to let him go?" the dark voice asked.

Suddenly, the knight put his blade back in its sheath and let out a tremendous battle cry. After shouting something in his unknown langauge, the knight aimed the front of his small shield straight at Liz. Before Liz could ask her partner what was going on, a beam of white energy burst from the shield, completely consuming her in its bright light.

When the light vanished, Liz found herself laying in the grass field next to the gymnasium, only now most of the serene green grass had a been replaced with ash. After pulling herself up to her knees, Liz spotted the knight slowly walking towards her, blade in hand.

"Ignore the pain Liz" the dark voice growled. "I can fix any damage to this body once you win." Liz tried to stand, but the pain pulsing through her body forced her back down. "Listen here mortal!" the dark voice snapped, sounding a lot more fearful than before. "I didn't step out of paradise just to die on some rock in the middle of nowhere. Now get back on your feet and fight! Hurry before he kills us both!"

Liz smirked as she felt a little blood trickle down her face. "Not exactly how I intended this day to go..." she muttered to herself while wiping her forehead clean with the red leather glove that covered her left hand. "Then again, today has been nothing but one surprising twist after another." Liz thought back to the conversation she'd had on a bus with a small child who had bright orange hair and a purple suit.

TO BE CONTINUED....
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the-llama-sama's avatar
Big Bird Kicks Down Door 
That's right! I'm here to retroactively pester you. :meow:
Also I figured out how to better format my suggestions! I am a dummy! 
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Pretty soon everyone would be home in their warms beds, waiting for tomorrow to begin.
*warm
one a male knight sporting a well polished
*well-polished
Two people, one a male knight sporting a well polished suit of angelic white armor that covered him from head to toe, the other a teenage girl dressed in light red armor with a yellow dress underneath, were locked in fierce combat while a small child cheered on from atop the racks of chairs that lined the gym's walls.
Okay, I had a bit of difficulty with this one. But I managed to find a way to make it work...I think. ^^; 
  1. "Two people were locked in fierce combat. One a male knight in a full suit of well polished angelic white armor, the other a teenage girl in light red armor with a yellow dress underneath. A small child cheered on from atop the racks of chairs that lined the gym's walls."
  2. "A small child cheered on the two people locked in fierce combat from atop the racks of chairs that lined the gym's walls. One a male knight in a full suit of well polished angelic white armor, the other a teenage girl in light red armor with a yellow dress underneath."
I think either or works, but you pick which ones flows better. ;) (Wink) 
the child yelled while watching the girl thrust her red spear, adorned with three purple jewels, forward, only for the knight to parry it with his silver buckler.
I'd recommend removing the "adorned with three purple jewels", or simplifying to "thrust her jeweled spear".
After landing safely on her black boots that stretched up to her knees
Hm...maybe try simplifying it to:
"After landing safely on her knee-length black boots"
I'm not 100% sure on that one, so feel free to ignore it.
Would I be correct to presume you approach of the...Improvements I made on your fragile mortal shell?
*approve, lower-case "i" for "improvements". :meow: